Effectively
Focus on what works.
Purpose
Helps you choose actions that move you toward your goals, rather than getting stuck on what feels fair or unfair.
How to use it
1
Notice the goal
Ask what you are trying to achieve.
2
Check what works
Consider which action is most likely to help.
3
Let go of being right
Focus on effectiveness rather than proving a point.
4
Take the next useful step
Choose the action that best fits the situation.
Example
Instead of staying focused on "This is not fair," ask, "What action will help me now?"
Ask what works
- Think of one current problem.
- Ask, "What is the next effective thing I can do?"
Tips
- Effective does not always mean easy.
- It means doing what works in the real situation you are in.
Common pitfalls
- Trying to win instead of solve
- Acting from pride or resentment
- Ignoring the actual limits of the situation
When to use
Conflict
Frustration
Feeling stuck
Problem solving