Understanding and Changing Emotions

Opposite Action

Act opposite to an emotion urge when the emotion does not fit the facts.

Purpose

Helps change an emotion by changing the behaviour that keeps it going.

Steps

1 Identify the emotion Name the emotion you want to change.
2 Identify the action urge Notice what the emotion is pushing you to do.
3 Check the facts Ask whether the emotion fits the facts and whether its intensity is effective.
4 Choose the opposite action Pick a behaviour that goes against the emotion urge.
5 Do it fully Act opposite all the way, including posture, words, tone, and behaviour.
6 Repeat Keep practising until the emotion begins to shift.

Example

Shame urges you to hide after making a small mistake. If the shame does not fit the facts, opposite action might be to stay present, make eye contact, and speak kindly to yourself.

Tips

  • Opposite Action works best when the emotion does not fit the facts or is too intense.
  • Half-hearted opposite action is less effective.
  • It may feel uncomfortable at first.

Common Pitfalls

  • Using Opposite Action when the emotion is giving useful information.
  • Acting opposite only in behaviour while keeping the same posture and tone.
  • Giving up because the emotion does not change immediately.

Try It Now

1 Name one emotion urge you have today.
2 Ask whether acting on it will help.
3 Choose one small opposite action.

When to use

Fear Shame Sadness Anger Guilt Avoidance