Radical Acceptance

Accept reality as it is, even when you don't like it.

Purpose

Helps reduce suffering by letting go of fighting reality when it cannot be changed.

What it Means

Radical Acceptance is acknowledging reality completely, without approving of it or giving up. Acceptance means recognising that what has happened has happened.

How to use it

1 Notice what you are resisting Identify the reality you wish were different.

2 Acknowledge the facts State the reality without adding judgments or wishes.

3 Allow your emotions You can dislike reality and still accept that it exists.

4 Return to acceptance Whenever your mind starts arguing with reality again, gently return to acceptance.

Example

Your relationship has ended. Radical Acceptance is saying, "I wish this hadn't happened, but it has. Fighting that fact won't change it."

Try It Now

Think of one situation you cannot currently change.
Finish the sentence: I don't like this, but this is what is happening right now.

Tips

Acceptance is not approval.
Acceptance is not giving up.
Acceptance often needs to be practised repeatedly.

Common pitfalls

Believing acceptance means agreeing.
Waiting until you feel accepting before practising.
Confusing acceptance with passivity.

When to use

Loss Grief Chronic illness Relationship endings Things outside your control Painful life events